20/20 did an expose on the Reyes family psychodrama last Friday, and it did a fairly decent job of highlighting the complexity of all this. The mom insists that this is a parenting issue, while the dad insists this is a faith issue. They both cry out for the "best" for their little girl.
First, however, let's be honest. They are not striving for what's best for their daughter--that would have involved some more serious work at re-pairing their marriage. Study after study says that staying together is best for the kids, as long as you're not just staying together for the kids. Couples have to learn to stay together for reasons beyond the kids, reasons like the pursuit of intimacy, companionship, romantic love, a shared life witness. As they pursue these pursuits (for they are never destinations), their children are led along their own journey into maturity, without the pressure to become the linchpin that holds the family together.
Ironically, that is exactly what happens to children in divorce. Think about it. This little girl is now a pawn being used by both parents to exert their rights, and act out their victimhoods.
Divorce just sucks. Can I get an "amen"?
well stated.
Posted by: johnvano | March 03, 2010 at 01:06 PM
Amen.
Posted by: Tina | March 03, 2010 at 06:30 PM
Hal
Love watching what God is doing with you - just registered to be at your training in Memphis - hope to talk to you soon
Huber
Posted by: Mike Huber | March 28, 2010 at 10:39 AM