Life is Hard

So I'm dropping my clothes off at the cleaners' the other day, and my Indian owner friend remarks, "Hal, you look tired." Like usual, such a comment takes me somewhat aback, but I don't really want to get into it. so I shrug it off with the obligatory, "Ahh, you know, long day."

"Long day.......or long journey?"

Hmmm. That one stops me in my tracks. I'm not used to being that transparent, but then my friend makes it clear:

"Hal, your face tells a lot."

Wow. I'm left wondering what all my face is saying. Sure I'm busy, but who isn't? Just because my "busyness" involves travel and tv gigs doesn't make me especially worn out. Most everyone is about as busy as I am. Sure, pee-wee baseball just started again, and coaching my son's team adds a few hours a week. But is that the "tipping point" that sends my face screaming out about my "long journey"?

Truth is, I don't really know. I'm naturally a very introspective guy, and I preach around the country the virtues of focusing on one's self, but there are quite a few times when I just don't know what's going on inside. My wife, Jenny, can tell when I'm just "in a funk." Obviously, so can my dry cleaner.

But why now? Shouldn't there be a reason to be in a funk! My life is great! I've got a good marriage, wonderful, healthy kids, and our little ScreamFree business is going great. In fact, Mr. Thoreau, I'm going confidently in the direction of my dreams, and I'm living the life I've always imagined. But obviously that doesn't always make me happy, appreciative, energetic, etc.

Maybe it just means that, ta-da!, life is hard. Really hard. Life is hard, parenting is hard, marriage is hard, making a living is hard. Yes, there are wonderful moments, too numerous to count, but overall, life is hard.

No wonder those are the first words of Scott Peck's masterpiece of self-help, The Road Less Traveled. No wonder those words represent the first of Buddhism's Four Noble Truths. Nothing anyone can say can take away the truth that life is hard. I think that's my problem with most self-help and relationship-building materials--there is no secret that unlocks us from the shackles of the truth that life is hard.

But then again, maybe my dry cleaner knows something I don't.

Comments

[Gini Thomas]

I know God has led me to this subject. I was raised by a screamer and am a screamer. My daughter is sick of it and so am I. Life is hard and when others notice it on my face it is time to do something about it. I have downloaded the first chapter. Thank you for your honesty

[Heather]

This doesn't deal with children, but I understand you are a marriage counselor as well. My question: if you give marriage counseling to a woman and then exploit her trust in you to your own sexual advantage (I know you wouldn't - but some counselors prey on their clients' vulnerability for their own gain) then would you call that an "affair?" I don't think it can be called that because the client places their trust in you, and puts her life in your hands. It seems imbalanced and she doesn't have the same power over him that he has over her. It almost seems like abuse.